Cheating on Girlfriend with Family Member?

Q. I'm a 23yr old man, I love having sex with my girlfriend. Lately I am feeling like having sex with someone close to me, a family member but I’m afraid to confront her ... could you please help me?

A. Just because you’re in relationship doesn’t mean you won’t find other people attractive. It is natural to indulge in passing fantasies, but when the desire to take it to the next level overcomes you, examine your motivations before you make a move. Despite the fact that you and your girlfriend enjoy your sex life, issues arising out of your day to day rapport can impact your desire and fidelity. The question is whether you continue to bestow your commitment to that person, move on or discuss an open relationship. How you address these feelings now (and in the future) is important to your personal development as well as imminent romances. Right now the trick is not to make any rash decisions.

Before you discuss this with your significant other, here are a few things you should consider. Obviously you have an attraction to this other person; which of their characteristics is desirable to you? Are these things lacking in your relationship? Another avenue to explore is what’s going on in your mind; are you bored, needing more attention, or wanting some drama? Do you need some more single time to explore different women? If you’re not ready for the business of commitment, that’s okay, but just make sure you establish a level the playing field with your girlfriend by being honest with her.

One last thing; it wasn’t clear from your question how closely related the family member was to you. If what you’re fantasizing about is bordering illegal (or actually is illegal) then it is extremely important for you to rein in your desires. Also, consider what happens if afterwards the new relationship fails; how does that leave you with your relative in the future? This attraction will pass if you allow it, and for the sake of avoiding a terribly thorny situation, let the idea having sex with her go. Read our article on Incest for further information.